As a young woman Dan was sent off to June Dally-Watkins finishing school for 12 months to learn how to be a lady.
It was never going to work.
Dan, now 44, always knew he had been assigned the wrong gender at birth. The Bulli man lived for more than four decades with that knowledge but almost 12 months after starting gender-affirming hormone treatment he’s now living the life he always wanted.
As part of his transition he – along with four other proud Illawarra transgender men and women – has taken part in a photographic project initiated by Bulli’s Kylie Myth, of Myth Photography.
The photos are striking – beautiful and honest. Dan says he’s glad people are getting to see the real him – after he was forced to hide his true identity for so long.
"It’s been a long journey. I identified as male from as young as I can remember, which manifested itself by me being a tomboy,’’ Dan says.
"I grew up in the 1970s and ‘80s when transgender was not even a word. There were drag queens or cross dressers but no-one who was transgender to identify with. And there was never anything about female to male transition.
"So it was a matter of feeling a certain way but going with the flow of what society said – and being uncomfortable with that.’’
Dan grew up in the country with loving, if sometimes bewildered parents. In 1990 – when he was 18 – they thought a year’s training in deportment with Australia’s queen of etiquette may be just the ticket.
"When I tried on the uniform – a skirt and blazer – I stared in the mirror and just pissed myself laughing. It felt and looked so wrong. I failed every single lesson on hair, makeup and nails – as for the catwalk, forget it.’’
Meeting Dan today you’ll find a personable and passionate man – articulate and entertaining.
You’d never guess the struggles with self-worth; the pain and discrimination he’s endured.
Yet his mission is to educate people and ensure that other young people – assigned with the wrong gender at birth – can live the life they want.
"I suppressed it for too many years and had a rough trot with mental health, with drugs and alcohol,’’ he says.
"At one stage I entered a rehab facility where I finally confronted the fact that I wished I’d been born male; I even told my mum. Yet no-one on staff was qualified to help me through those feelings so I pushed them back down again.
"It wasn’t until two years ago – after I’d moved to Wollongong – that I found a therapist who acknowledged my feelings and helped me work through them. I realised the world had done a 180 (degree turnaround) in terms of accessibility to professionals who could help with gender identity issues.’’
The decision to transition was not easy, but once he’d made it, he felt "completely free’’.
His parents are supportive, and doing their best to understand it, as are his siblings. Friends and colleagues were great.
"Once you start to be true to yourself and live without the mask, people come along with you - so never underestimate people’s ability to be awesome and accepting.’’
